Words to Live By
1) It is easier to get into a thing than it is to get out.
2) Never forget – they are always the enemy.
3) To err is human, to forgive is divine; to forget is
asking for it again.
4) When you start to take your job seriously, get another
job.
5) You don’t want to go to jail.
6) It takes no more time to see the good side of life than
it takes to see the bad.
7) If you decide to run with the ball, just count on
fumbling and getting the shit kicked out of you a lot,
but never forget how much fun it was just to be able to
run with the ball.
8) Sons and wives can scatter like the wind and never be
seen or heard from again, but your daughter is always
your daughter.
9) Bake until your done, then go home.
10) Bop till you drop.
11) It’s easier to beg for forgiveness, than ask for
permission.
12) In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
13) Every win is not a victory. Every loss is not a defeat.
14) Do things that feel good, and only as long as they feel
good.
15) It is impossible to look toward the future, if you keep
looking over your shoulder at the past.
16) The essence of any hierarchy is retaliation.
17) Work hard; play hard; die young.
18) Life is like a penis, when it’s soft you can’t beat it,
when it’s hard you get screwed.
19) You can think, you can plan, but life never ever turns
out the way you think it will. Reality, just like
everything else, is subject to your perception.
20) The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion
to their commitment to excellence regardless to their
chosen field of endeavor.
21) Things may come to those who wait, but only the things
left by those who hustle.
22) When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and
hang on.
23) Even if your on the right track, you’ll get run over if
you just sit there.
24) In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is
the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.
25) You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.
26) Never talk about politics, religion, or people’s mothers.
27) Never eat anything bigger than your head.
28) Never put peanut butter on a dill pickle.
29) Never mix Jack Daniels with ANYTHING.
30) If you can’t think of something nice to say, say
something completely ludicrous so they don’t
know what you mean.
31) Everything is relative to where you are standing at the time.
32) The universe is really big.
33) God is really cleaver. Man is not.
34) Love will overcome all that money cannot buy.
35) Dreaming is healthy.
36) When nothing can go wrong, it will.
37) Nothing is ever as simple as it seems.
38) Everything you want costs more money than you have.
39) If you fool around with a thing long enough it will break.
40) If you try to please everybody, somebody is not
going to like it.
41) It is a fundamental law of nature that nothing ever
quite works out.
42) Don’t fuck with fate.
43) If you explain something so clearly than no one can
misunderstand, someone will.
44) Whatever you want to do, you have something else to do
first.
45) If you stand to be counted, someone else might steal
your seat.
46) Show me the man you honor, and I will know what kind of
man you are.
47) Winning isn’t everything, but losing sucks.
48) Woman – Can’t live with ’em; pass the beer nuts!
49) The only cure for true ugliness is more beer.
50) In all emotional conflicts, the thing you find hardest
to do is usually the thing you should do.
51) If you can’t be good, be good at it.
52) When the shit hits the fan, it does not dispurse
equally.
53) Our lives are ruined by first our parents, and then by
our children.
54) Assholes are born that way and seldom change.
55) If a policy or procedure seems really dumb, you can be
sure insurance reasons are behind it.
56) Avoid anyone who describes himself as a simple man. He
will complicate your life beyond belief.
57) Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.
58) If you get down on your knees to anyone, your in a great
position to get kicked in the face.
59) Take it easy and if it comes that easy, take it twice.
60) Broken hearts always heal, if you disregard the scar.
61) If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle em with
bullshit.
62) If you have to plagiarize, at least go way back.
63) Sometimes you eat the berries, and sometimes the berries
eat you.
64) Only worry about things you can change.
65) Life is too short to socialize with assholes.
66) Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.
67) A nation declines when its people become too serious to
set their heart on toys.
68) If ifs and buts were candies and nuts, we’d all have a
Merry Christmas.
69) Sometimes you’re the windshield, and sometimes you’re
the bug.
70) Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
71) Life is what happens while you’re busy making other
plans.
72) Never ask a lawyer or accountant business advice. They
are trained to find problems, not solutions.
73) Beware of the person who nothing to lose.
74) Never cut which can be untied.
75) Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life
you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the
things you did do.
76) Take care of your reputation. It’s your most valuable
asset.
77) Commit yourself to quality.
78) Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.
79) One day in the game is worth a lifetime of memories.
80) There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the
shore looking like an idiot.
81) Ride it till it crashes.
82) It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you give. It ain’t
the life you choose, it’s the life you live.
83) Anything worth owning is worth cheating for.
84) You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at
it’s tracks.
85) One advantage to being disorderly is that you are
constantly making exciting discoveries.
86) Shared pain is lessened, share joy is increased.
87) It is levity, not gravity that holds our world together.
88) Don’t take any shit from anybody.
89) If you believe in forever, than life is just a one night
stand.
90) Progress is made by lazy men in search of an easier way
to get things done.
91) Promises must be kept, especially promises to children.
92) A person who has nothing to die for has nothing to live
for.
93) Live as you will have wished you lived when you are
dying.
94) When turkeys mate they think of swans.
95) All of us are ignorant, just about different things.
96) The secret of life is enjoying the passing of time.
97) Argue for your limitations long enough and they will be
yours.
98) Failing to plan is planning to fail.
99) No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
100) When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
101) It is said a picture is worth a thousand words.
However the word “MARGARITAVILLE” is
worth a thousand pictures.
102) Take me drunk, I’m home again.
103) We are inclined to believe those we do not know because
they have never deceived us.
104) The dice don’t know you lost the last throw.
105) Education is what you get from reading the small print,
experience is what you get from not reading it.
106) You have not converted a man because you have silenced
him.
107) Courage is often a lack of insight, whereas cowardice in
many cases is based on good information.
108) Be yourself – no one can ever tell you you’re doing it
wrong.
109) Whoever doesn’t love wine, women, and song will be a
fool his whole life.
110) In Heaven, there ain’t no beer, that’s why we drink it
here.
111) Birthdays should be taken with a grain of salt and a
pitcher of Margaritas.
112) Always keep several irons in the fire.
113) After you’ve worked hard to get what you want, take the
time to enjoy it.
114) Be a leader. Remember the lead sled dog is the only one
with a decent view.
115) Don’t be called out on strike. Go down swinging.
116) Don’t make the same mistake twice.
117) Never compromise your integrity.
118) Do it right the first time.
119) Don’t accept “good enough’ as good enough.
120) No one ever said on his death bed, “Gee, if I’d only
spent more time at the office.”
121) Focus on making these better, not bigger.
122) Be loyal.
123) Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone else
choose it for you.
124) Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
125) Be prepared to lose once in a while.
126) If something sounds too good to be true it probably is.
127) Live your life so that you tombstone can read “No
regrets.”
128) Don’t expect life to be fair. It isn’t.
129) Don’t expect money alone to bring you happiness.
130) Be willing to loose a battle in order to win the war.
131) Loosen up and relax. Except for rare life and death
situations, nothing is quite as important as it first
seems.
132) Strive for excellence, not perfection.
133) Learn to listen. Opportunity sometime knocks very
quietly.
134) Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one
decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness
or misery.
135) Be brave. Even if your not, pretend to be. No one can
tell the difference.
136) Never give up on anybody.
137) Make new friends but cherish the old ones.
138) If you don’t have the time to do it right, when will you
have the time to do it over?
139) Always have a backdoor out of all situations.
140) There is a world of difference between making a living
and making a life.
141) If people concentrated on the really important things in
life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.